Thursday, December 11, 2008

17 weeks

Dear Ducky,
Tomorrow you will be 17 weeks old. I believe you are close to five inches now. Your mama has been in bed for the past few days with a nasty stomach flu. Her mind raced to something she ate that she probably shouldn't have - bitty slices of prociutto ham on a salad. On Friday your father and I had dinner with an old friend that your mama used to pal around when she was seven, eight, nine, years old. Stace made a delicious salad with pomegranate seeds, cheese shavings, and some prociutto. Everyone thought it would be okay. I am sure it was okay, but your poor mama with her worried mind and sick tummy wondered for hours if she hadn't contracted listeria. She spent hours on the internt googling symptoms, etc. Today our doctor assured us that their was probably nothing to worry about it. And, your mama is already feeling better. I can't do this to us anymore. The worry is not good for me and it is not good for you - although I suspect that you are floating around in your own bubble pretty unaware. I would like to do things for us from this point forward that calms our waters even further. More long walks. I know that you liked the long, peaceful snowshoes in Mammoth where your grandma has a home. The crunch of the snow and the cool mountain air was just perfect. I also know that you like the ocean. The other day I took a walk along the crashing waves with three women that I work with. It was still sunny and many surfers were bobbing in the waves. Before our walk we sat around Helga's small kitchen table and talked about whether you might be a girl or a boy. Helga swears that she just knew she was having a boy. We looked at pictures of her son when he was three months old wrapped in a snowsuit and strapped on to her belly as she skied. Your father and I are already planning many outdoor adventures for you right away. We hope to take you camping this Summer with a family of seven! I picture you wrapped up and content to watch the trees swaying and the water lapping up against the shore. So, little one, mama promises to work on calming her worried mind for the two of us, actually for the three of us. Your father needs a strong mommy too. I promise more long walks and more yoga! We can't wait to get a peek at you in a few weeks.

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